To all mothers: This is for you... for us...

 "You realize that you habitually thought of Mom when something in your life was not going well, because when you thought of her it was as though something got back on track, and you felt re-energized.”

 ~Please Look After Mom~

with Ayachan (Japan 2012)

"I hate her!"

That was the line I had in my mind when I was a kid. I used to hate her. I felt she's trying to empower my existence as an individual human being. I was not allowed to do this and that. I had my first official boyfriend when I was in 2nd year college. Not allowed to butt in when she's talking. I couldn't break her rules. I couldn't even say no. Dictated every move I should make. I really couldn't understand her. I was crying in my room every night. I really really couldn't get her point not until I grew up to be a woman. Now, I perfectly understand her. She molded me to be not just a woman but as a strong-minded, unconstrained and a sensible lady. I am here because of her. She's my strength and my weakness. She's my best friend. She's my life!
Mama, you never leave me alone. I am truly grateful that He gave me you.
From your family, everyday is Mother's Day!

Note: Aya's FB post, so touching that it made me cry. (sorry for being such a hovering-BS-kind-of-mom...)  

with my 1st and my 3rd...
My 3rd wrote with this picture..."Wala ng hihigit pa sa PAGMAMAHAL ng isang INA sa kanyang mga ANAK."

The value of living happily inspite and despite of...

Being happy is a wise choice. No matter how our moods are, we can always make ourselves fit to sing some happy tune. That's for me a good therapy, veering away from emotional doldrums. We don't need to sulk and hide...sometimes I do but positively, say I'd buy books from a resale stand where my fave authors like Dean Koontz, Jim Grisham, Jodie Picoult (sadly no resale for this)...Jean Deveraux, and my super fave Sidney Sheldon...and voila I can be in a long hiatus mode. Nothing from the outside world except am with all the books am reading. I am not anti-social but I would prefer to stay in the sactuary of my room comfortably rather than eaves-dropping or having some sort of chit chat. But I love to see some of my colleagues and friends over lunch outside or at someone's house or in my house if there's a chance. But i really love books...and I never get tired of reading.

Now aside from reading I mostly enjoy music at home. I don't know how to live my life without music. I love every beat...be it classical, instrumental, like sax I dig most, I find saxists like Kenny G, with Brian McKnight's Careless Whispers, David Koz...very sexy when playing the saxophones, oh my gawd, these are good making ### music for lovers. Playing safe so excuse me for bowdlerizing, if these are not my words. I love also reggae, alternative music, whoah I like bossa, jazz is really nice indeed. And down to Lady Gaga....and would you believe, even the susurration of leaves and even the roars of waves are like music to my ears? What would life be without music?

So whenever I veer into music that is synonymously feeling unspirited and my courage is scraped...paramount to being unhappy and lifeless...like am today but I think am old enough to handle everything since I can say I truly got my Phd in crying and being devastated. So now...it's safe to say  that I am in the mend...a bit bored...but I will be okey in no time at all. Am grateful of my big faith! Faith always find it's way to heal me...

So always feel la la love, even at the lowest point of our moods!

Life is still a blessing! And will always feel so so blest no matter what comes my way...!

One of my fave Japanese songs...by SMAP



See the lyrics here...

"Happiness is like a cat, If you try to coax it or call it, it will avoid you; it will never come. But if you pay not attention to it and go about your business, you'll find it rubbing against your legs and jumping into your lap."
-- William Bennett


"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." -- Helen Keller

Signposts of my own development...

Happiness like beauty is relative. For me really being happy depends on how you look at your blessings. Me, though we're not that complete due to some unavoidable circumstances having the third party not on my end but the other one...still life for me is a blessing indeed. That's why I always say I feel blest. The best way to deal in life is to look at it in the most positive way with whatever will be left. Whatever you've got in your hands, still...you have to feel proud of it and be grateful as ever. Being happy is how you understand life...no matter how you wanted to have a complete family if someone naman has to pull the other end, how will you go about the situation? Me after the excruciating test, surprisingly I bounced back and had picked up the pieces...because I knew if I wouldn't make myself stronger no one would even try for me...that's life...that's the reality of life. You will be tested on how to make things work still with all those things you whinged about when you are left alone in your room with all those soliloquies... [wondering why we're made to suffer]. Of course we all think that being incomplete is filled with hopelessness and unendurable frustration but if the future is important to us, we can still survive because we have to. Of course I was once wrecked, but what is important is what was left So instead of asking why, I did look for the positive remnants out of that negative side of my life. The feeling of relinquishing responsibility to someone else's shoulder is beyond my wish. Sulking as if wading through quicksand just because you are left alone is immaturity. Though honestly I was wrecked...[and who wouldn't be], my bruised mind insisted I shouldn't dumped my life just like that. I still got my children who needed my attention, my love and my care. So the bottom line is...to be able to bounce back to normal...to life...amidst those trials. Being resilient is the name of the game.

PS/I wrote this because I happened to stumble one blog wherein the writer felt, or rather expresses some paranoias of losing her own life, losing her dh, be it to other woman or the other means of losing someone. Life changes...and it's inevitable. Some would even ask why is life so difficult for some people and not for others? We do carry our own yoke so to say. So we have to be wary and be on guard to whatever will be coming our way. For me, as long as I breathe air...I am blest!

Keeping the contagion going...

The happiness habit is as easy to pick up as the common cold and it is contagious, too. It can easily go around...let's spread it!

Giddyup...giddyup!

Screammmm! screammm! wheeew! Enough of those unrelenting melancholia and gloomy forebodings...life moves on...so swiftly before we get to notice it. Life must be enjoyed no matter what comes in, good or bad...and the giddy part of it. Let's spunk up like tinder. Move on...get going...shake a leg! A fecund mind is more fruitful than to fret.

PS/ And so, I really take each moment of my life to count my blessings...and every Tom, Dick and Harry should be. Remember that life like a plateau is boring and not challenging, with just one flat dry plane that offered nothing new but struggles, woes and the likes. Life with highs and lows offers more, coz in order to enjoy pleasure and happiness it must be interrupted.

Photo by Makki, Japan winter 2007