When HE says yes...no one can say NO!

I am inspired by this Picoult line... when God says yes...no one can ever say no 

I still can vividly remember how I got hold of a book by Jodie Picoult, and it was my very first book she authored..."Handle with Care" and I couldn't afford to just go without me having that copy. I read the back cover where a short glimpse of the whole story is written. After reading that book... I crave for more of Picoult ....

 Her books are highly recommended for someone like me who loves to read, and am sure again that you will never get tired of her and her novels... plus your shelves won't be complete without you adding some Picoult on it. 

I am halfway done reading Keeping Faith and I just got a new book again given by my son who instead of me giving him a gift on his birthday...it turned out to be the other way around. He let me choose from bulks of books on the shelves and I have but one author in mind... Picoult... 

To my Arvin, belated HBD  and I wish you all the luck in this world...Thank you for the gift, I truly treasure our friendship and the mother-son-thingy. I love you to no end. 

“While they were saying among themselves it cannot be done, it was done.”

Faith against fear...

I think I'll have a tough time battling my fear (Thalassophobia) getting near the umi again. I will miss my bird-feeding visit. And they say don't be afraid of the tsunami, but be first afraid of a massive earthquake that could give a strong tsunami right after. Whatever it is, it shows we're nothing compared with the wrath of nature.

Everytime I remember how great the power that lies within the ocean I feel that great grief of how it swallowed  almost everything in just so short a time.

But then, let's not forget that our faith should be greater than our fears!

A note of thanks...

my puppylove ;D

genki desu!

My dear Lord, I will forever be grateful for answering my plea to give Mishah a new lease of life again.  Losing her four puppies which from the video itself sent to me via FB, I immediately felt that they weren't in the pink of health since I saw and had noticed one who's cyanotically pale. One died soon after the others.  But I was hoping against hope from the very off that they could still have a chance. But unluckily they did not...not even one did. And true enough, when her good vet told me that Mishah had whelped too soon before her due, he gave her unthrifty puppies a 70% chance to live. I accepted the fact that we had no little chance over the puppies. But what broke our hearts, specially me was when Mishah was so helpless and I couldn't be with her during that time when she needed me the most. Good thing  my children though so busy shared their time to be with Mishah, 24 hours round the clock then. I cried a lot...prayed a lot. All I have had during that time was my faith alone in You my dear Lord. And still as always, You didn't fail me on that that's why I will forever be thankful and grateful for giving her a new life. She's has recuperated from that ordeal and is back to her normal genki ways.

Lord I thank You for giving such joy again. You know how much I (we) love our little boy. Make him a blessing in the years to come.

And I thank You again for giving me such wealth...which is my health...my life.

YOKATTA!

Limit of my endurance...the physical side of it

One thing that's affecting me now's that... I feel and I think my epidural shot has been waning now or rather had waned it's strength already since it was done almost a year ago. Epidural steroid injections (ESI) are commonly used to control back and leg pain from many different causes using long Tuohy needle which is a very delicate and sensitive procedure, though napakabilis lang nito. I hope I am right here. And I don't think it's healthy to get into another procedure again. I saw how big the needle was...but I was lucky indeed to have one of the best doctors we have around. (I remember my anesthesiologist said in the middle of the procedure when I gave a sudden quick jerk when he inserted the long needle, kasi me kiliti ako eh...he went like, "leonore, leonore...please don't do that again...please...please...please...hehehe...pasaway na pasyente!") And so far it worked tremendously great since I did a lot of walking during my vacation out of the country. My bad, I overused everything to the limit. What I know is, steroid is something that has to be taken in moderation...I'm not sure if this is true, I just heard of it. I haven't been in constant communication with my doctors and I intend to visit them at Medical City if I will get an extra time and have the feel to go there. Of course they are busy people, so they are limited to find extra time also. Well...when I saw people in wheelchairs, I feel extra grateful and blessed. That's why, I feel shamed when I am like this, as if I am complaining, pagnaiisip ko si Tack. (Yup, Tack...that's very true...that's one thing I like in you, your super-mega optimism... kaya ayan na naman mababasa mo na naman yan...sigh...btw, thanks sa mga uplifting msgs mo ha...parang baligtad eh, ako pa inaaliw mo...) Well, forgive me, I am just human. Pero thinking na I can walk pa naman to certain extent, kasi two blocks would mean a lot of torture na. But then, I feel great! I'm blessed! We all are! So cheers!

With or without...it's going to be a blast!

Yup...with or without big celebration...my birthday will be a blast, figuratively so to say. I'm thankful I'm still here. So I'm going to spend it with my children. We're planning to eat outside, say KFC, Kenny (on the second thought mahal...)maybe it's a good choice to dine at Barrio Fiesta, my dau's suggestion. Why not...I'm suggesting sana Zirkoh or 22nd St na lang...eh since C is not one of those who belong to local party habitues that she's more enjoying the fine dining cuisine...change venue na lang. I also have in mind the one in Metro Market where we once enjoyed a sumptuous meal with the newly wed then...Anthony and Steff. I also love San Jacinto where foods are also great. The ambience is very homey. Pero pag naisip kong sa house na lang okey pa rin, thinking of a barbecue party with red wine. I've kept a box of 3L SmartBo red wine from France...that goes with a spigot inside and all you have to do is to pull it out from the box and voila...kakaiba ang packaging...masarap and di matapang.
My daughter used to be very passive when she was younger pero ngayon she always has something to suggest or say before anything has to be decided upon. Naku dalaga na kasi. And she's very prim and proper most of the time unlike me na medyo magulo rin pag gusto ko ang group na kaharap ko and sometimes I tend to be so tightlipped pag di ko naman feel ang kaharap ko. Love to crack jokes and tell happy stories giving the the air a convivial tone.
On my birthday will just eat out...and maybe will prepare something on the table for those who'll remember to greet me at home. Ganun lang kasimple. And will make sure na I'll attend the 1st mass and say thanks for my blessings. With everything that goes...I will always feel blest and grateful.

Baclaran day

Since today is a Wednesday, it's Baclaran Day and early devotees flock at Baclaran Church to hear early mass...my bad...and sigh...I had my last visit when I was about to leave the country last year which was Dec 2 pa. And being scoliotic again, I have no other choice but to content myself praying at home or visiting the nearby church or attending the village's mass on Sundays. I confess that I am not a churchy person today since I moved here last year. Compared noon na every morning I'd be sitting in a front pew to hear the first mass. Then I would make it a point to passed by at the Adoration Chapel. Now I missed everythng here. But then for me, I'd rather naman be a conscientious one than those who of a frequent kneeler, and if you know how to be compassionate and full of love. But we all know that we need to go to church every Sunday if not everyday. But somehow I know na I will be heard kahit saan ako magpray...if it's coming from the heart. Sometimes nakakahiya pag I would always complain about my being sciatic, scoliotic and hypertensive pag nakikita kong si Tack eh very active going to and fro samantalang naka-wheelchair pa siya. I just love the courage of this young girl. Pero this ailment of mine really is agonizingly painful sometimes or rather most of the time that put me in so much pain. Being hyped up physically is not always in my psyche no matter how I wanted to be. My lumbar area is just so weak and I cannot do commuting without being so helpless after long standing and or sitting. My strength is so unpredictable. But somehow I am still thankful at ganito na lang ang situation ko compared to others na talagang di mo ma-imagine ang situation.

I can say...I'm truly blest pa rin...so much!

Getting up at the wrong side of bed...

Got back to bed after morning routine. Cooking and preparing kid's brekker and packlunches. A bit...aahh...lightheaded again. had checked my BP, quite low I don't know what's happening...I dozed off immediately after my back touches my bed. Then I roused out of bed and had a quick cold shower. Saraaap. I went back again to bed and voila I got a message na naman coming from my friend.com...TACK...hehehe...kakahiya...siya pa nagpapalakas ng loob ko, imagine that. Instead na ako ang magbigay sa kanya ng mga words of wisdom, siya pa umaalalay sa akin. Thanks to you gurl! Kaya siguro kami pinagkilala ni Lord...para mauplift ako ng todo. She is kinda very special talaga. Yesterday while I was at the bank, she bombarded me with so many ready-pass-it-on-messages na talaga namang matinde. This morning she gave me this one...

We fail 2 be hapi coz we are not satisfied wid what we hav...

So here r a few satisfaction guidelines:
1. Do not hold on to something dat wud never be yours. (Tama nga, di ba?)
2. Do not fight 4 someone not worth fighting for. (Hmmmm...tama rin...sayang ang effort!)
3. Do not cry for something lost, gone and inevitable. (Ped ba yun?)
4. Appreciate what you have and be thankful 4 whatever things people gave you. (Kahit bigyan tayo ng kutakot-takot na sama ng loob?!)

*Happiness is a mere construct of the mind. Everyone can be hapi as long as they really want to... :)

To you my friend Tack, wag kang mag-alala...kaya ko toh...ako pa ba ang hinde...sometimes lang talaga I feel a bit disappointed pero in the end, I bounce back again becoz I love life...becoz there's more aside from skulking in the corner. Just like Madge, we as mothers cannot afford to get frustrated no matter how hard the blows will be...and I know naman na hindi ito permanente...bahala na si Batman di ba?! Possitivity is the answer and great faith is the best. Salamat sau ha, hindi na tayo nagkita. In time, malay mo dumating ang chance. Regards to everybody there. And hello to Ida too.

An old cliche that goes..."look for the brighter side of life"

Yes...I do always remember and apply this cliche, we always hear from around us...to always look at the brighter side of life. Things happened...and things do happen, the least we expect it to happen. Sometimes we are drawn to be so sad by how things turn out in our lives specially if it's beyond our imagination. But what we do not see and overlook is the people around us who try to make us happier in times like this. Some friends share our sorrow, and often feel compassionate sympathy and or condole with our sufferings. And it should always be for friends don't leave each other anyway during trying times. But what do we expect in return? For me I just need to feel that when I help I want to be sure that my concern is much felt by just giving me a simple and sweet smile. Just a smile and the assurance that her load is somewhat a bit lighter than what it used to be. That for me is a sure sign of reciprocity. Reciprocity is very important. Some people are bore because they let things slide just in front of their faces and ignore the good little things that are just at arm's length. Instead of seeing the beauty of life they tend to dwell on what is said to be a failure or what we may call bumps. Let's try to see the world in the four corners of our eyes. Little things that somehow makes us happier are just ignored and left unnoticed because our mind is just too busy minding those rough edges in our lives. Being pessimistic won't help us either.It just complicate things and leave us miserable instead.
For me helping others is not just kawanggawa,or an obligation but more of a choice. We choose to help because we care to help. But sometimes it is quite taxing or tiring to help those who are unwilling to get themselves out of the mire per se. Drawing strength from one another is important. Instead of pulling down the hands of the one who's helping you, why don't you instead lift yourself up to the safe higher ground. How would you like to help people who are unwilling to smile when you always want to make them wear a smile? Isn't that a selfish behavior? I for one is a type of person who appreciate even the slightest of gestures from people around me. A simple notes can even make me smile the whole day. Being given some delightful text messages also makes my day beautiful. It is in my system to always look at the brighter side of life when mine turns a little darker. Acceptance is very important. Something like, if you have no shoes, think of those who have no feet. If my friend would have read this, she wouldn't like this as I guess...'coz small gripes can cast a negative pall over a relationship...like what I've been trying to tell her over and over again. She's almost always very pessimistic over something...and I just couldn't take much of her pessimism. For you, cheer yourself up...nobody can help you except yourself. If you'll only see better...you'll feel better too.
But nowadays, in deference with what happened to her life and family, I am but saddened deeply because I can see that she feels for the plight of her loved ones. She's still groping and much too affected...I just wish as a friend, that in time...she'll be able to squeeze off that heavy load off her back...and I'm sure it will...in God's time. Being optimistic in times like this and with fervent prayers will do a lot.
Keep the faith, dear friend...

No burden is heavy when it is carried with love....

A thin line after forgiveness...

Forgiveness is one of the truest values of faith. But God's forgiveness is greater than ours. My heart is big but very little compared to God's blessings I do receive and will be receiving. I have learned to share it with others that's why generosity fits in. I love to give whatever my hand can hold. I can see myself with all those people who suffer because I myself suffered (and still is)...along the way...so much tears welled during those days na I needed someone to bail me out financially...from scrapes. And I've had a quite sad childhood but I can truly say that I love and treasure those days collectively. Can't trade it with anyone's. With that big heart, there's a thin wall after that virtue...and I hate it though. A line that prevent me from relighting a fire. A fire of friendship that's been extinguished. Why? Maybe because of lack of communication, trust, lessened affection or whats-not. I have high expectations about friendship. My bad. When I care, I mean I truly care...when I love, I truly love...to a fault. Until suffocation ends the bond. I feel sad. Sad that I always shut the door of rekindling hope that one day, fire will burn again. No fire 'coz I don't want to relight it again. For me when you love a person, you won't be an instrument to hurt him/her. When you love you ought to show it, let him/her feels it. When am hurt, it leaves a scar. A scar that always reminds me that someone have had hurt me. And that is where that thin line dwell. It's preventing me from rekindling hope. Forgiveness is quite hard lalo't harm done went to a distinctively hard blow level. That I find the hardest thing to do. And forgiveness is something given only when one pleads and begs for it, earnestly. But this I pray...that God somehow will heal me from this.

Pruned and panned...

My faith is always put to test...but somehow I still carry my principle in life. And they always ask where I draw strength, I say where else but from my faith. I believe that God never give us a heavy burden without offering His mighty hands to lift us up!!!

Put in mind...

Our F A I T H

should be B I G G E R

than all our F e a R s!!!

Story on faith daw...

Yup Ida, I got so many stories to tell that concerned faith itself. When I was alone in the house in our Aichi residence, I am in the middle of my deep power nap. All of a sudden I woke up for no reason at all. I went down and just pee. I was getting a drink sana when I noticed something like whitish in color that seemed to be falling lightly and so I went to the adjacent room to open some windows to see what was that. Oh my gosh! I was so excited when I've learned that snow was falling that afternoon. Know what? That place I learned from my Japanese friends that it has been so many years na that has passed and not a single day na umulan ng snow doon. I was so teary-eyed when I opened my windows and try to capture some snow falling on that day. It was kinda little heavy. For me God seemed to suprised me. Becoz He knew that I like to see more of snow than to see sakura. Grabe ang saya ko that day. I told my self, si God talaga...

Really pinasaya Niya ako talaga...

And another one was, I left Pinas with a troubled heart...grabeng pagsubok talaga. Pero I contemplated there in Japan and I felt na sobrang blessings ang tinatanggap ko so why make a fuss pa? So when I came back my outlook in life became better and I'm a bit stronger now...my faith is still greater than my disappointments.

With greater faith no one will be (at a) lost.

Feel it in my bones...

Felt puny? Yup, honestly I did...but I didn't let my tears to well even just a bit. I gathered all my strength and my faith. I didn't fly into rage. For the first time in my life I am so cool...and collected. Things do change really. I look at things now with a grain of salt so I know now how to deal with such. And I am now wary that some people can give you away just like that. Faith is much more than anything...it helps me pull myself together and keep my spirits up.

How to resist anxiety...

Making efforts to resist and ignore anxiety by praying silently even in one corner of the room. In reticent mood...I just pray clutching my rosary in not less than 20 minutes...and I just sprang back to life and positivity. We all just need prayers if times like this that we seem to be worrying and so affected.

God always help those who help themselves.

A visit to Nuestra Senyora de la Paz y del Buen Viaje...

I lighted another candle infront of our patron saint for good voyage in Antipolo church yesterday. Visitors are not allowed to enter the enclosed area near the altar. But the nun who assisted me yesterday was so kind to let me light the candle myself and pray very near the area.

I could only wish for good health, love & peace and of course a good voyage.

My votive candles...

I went to St. Clare's chapel to pray... light candles and make a wish...for good health, peace of mind and love...
Will go to Antipolo church, patron saint for good voyage...anytime this week.

Amazing courage of Kcat...

I am just about to retire and go to bed because my eyes are heavy , but I just went to click Ida's site...the feel...I saw a blinking ear icon, clicked then out Kcat's EVERYTHING HAS A REASON




CLICK!

More blessings and lessons...

Learning the value of every moment, of every year...by the lessons I learned with everyday of every week, month, and year that I live...I can truly say that I've been blest...so so blest. And I need to thank my nuclear family for some of the best years of my life with them. Without them I don't imagine my life as happy as I am now. They are the only source of my strength next to my Creator.

Photo: by Makki