A thin line after forgiveness...

Forgiveness is one of the truest values of faith. But God's forgiveness is greater than ours. My heart is big but very little compared to God's blessings I do receive and will be receiving. I have learned to share it with others that's why generosity fits in. I love to give whatever my hand can hold. I can see myself with all those people who suffer because I myself suffered (and still is)...along the way...so much tears welled during those days na I needed someone to bail me out financially...from scrapes. And I've had a quite sad childhood but I can truly say that I love and treasure those days collectively. Can't trade it with anyone's. With that big heart, there's a thin wall after that virtue...and I hate it though. A line that prevent me from relighting a fire. A fire of friendship that's been extinguished. Why? Maybe because of lack of communication, trust, lessened affection or whats-not. I have high expectations about friendship. My bad. When I care, I mean I truly care...when I love, I truly love...to a fault. Until suffocation ends the bond. I feel sad. Sad that I always shut the door of rekindling hope that one day, fire will burn again. No fire 'coz I don't want to relight it again. For me when you love a person, you won't be an instrument to hurt him/her. When you love you ought to show it, let him/her feels it. When am hurt, it leaves a scar. A scar that always reminds me that someone have had hurt me. And that is where that thin line dwell. It's preventing me from rekindling hope. Forgiveness is quite hard lalo't harm done went to a distinctively hard blow level. That I find the hardest thing to do. And forgiveness is something given only when one pleads and begs for it, earnestly. But this I pray...that God somehow will heal me from this.