On vacillating....or of giving up...

Though I am used to vacillate oftentimes, to warily weigh things, I think I don't give up too easily. When in friendship, if it seems that nothing is reciprocated, faltering or not functioning well, the question is whether you can wait and stay.

What I'm trying to imply here is the perseverance in a relationship and or any kind of human relationship. The stick-to-it syndrome will keep you wait and stay until the hard part is endured.
The creases can be ironed out and the relationship which was once good can be better or good again. To ask or to wait for a complete reciprocity can hurt you or the friendship itself. Though sometimes too, there are relationships that are beyond repair maybe due to luck of interest or it is not the two-way kind of friendship. As always, there is an exception to the rules.

Just how Allan LM says, for in all relationships there is a movement at times toward intimacy, at other times toward withdrawal and or distance. A secure and loving friend does not panic during a phase of withdrawal.

Erratum...

My daughter was reading my blog...when she saw me, she gave me a dagger look, then smiled.

She's making apila...she got daw 6 instead of 5 medals...not bragging, huh!!!

Best in English, Journalism Award, Service Award, Cultural Award, Leadership Award,
and the First Honorable Mention

The joys of being a mom...and the joys of having good and loving kids!

Last respect....last glance...

Today is a bit gloomy. Will be signing out any minute to prepare myself, to be with my friend Rubie...and to give my last respect to Nanay Charing...

To Rubie's mom and also to my "nanay" who passed away several years ago....

We love you dearly....to the last ditch!

Tush, tush.....my dear....!

Last night, while I was lying on my bed, trying to contemplate about things in my life that I proved to be not essentially helping me grow as a person...should be deleted right away. In retrospect, I got used into doing something that only my heart gets the benefit from doing so. Wanting to make people happy. But it wasn't helping us grow. We might as well try veering away to another direction...let's say a 180 degree complete turn about, quite a turning point, huh. If we bleed, just go on...life is not about all of its cakes and ale. Trudging in life needs a lot of courage to go on when the goings is rough. Me, being so aloof and retiring veered away and look for a better space in my life, where I can be fruitful, progressive and fulfilled. I am more into saving for my children's future nest egg. They are my inspiration, my reason to live, my consolation, my gift from Heaven, and my everything. All the hardship will be reciprocated...in time....!!!

I'm crazy for you...

There's a resto near where we lived...that offers a live band showing their singing prowess..., a girl singing I'm crazy for you......my daughter singing along when suddenly we both burst into laughters...I asked her why? "Mama kc d nya na hit ung high note....", I told her it wasn't good to laugh at other's misfortune...nakitawa pa man din ako...sorrie my bad!!! But I do enjoy them nightly especially when times like this that I am blogging. Libreng entertainment. You don't have to pay for an entrance fee. But some of my neighbors are pissed...but not me, for that nightly loud noise that reverberates to the four corners of our rooms....making our heart tom-tomming with their music.

Music is everywhere. Even the sussuration of leaves is like music to my ear. The splash of the sea water is also music, I love music coz it eases us of our loneliness...I make it a point to listen to good music, that will chirk my spirit up...

Karma...

When I was driving along Ortegas Ave., the car show corner at XXX Mall, caught my attention.
It was now vacated I don't know the reason why...maybe for renovation or what. But in my mind it was karma. There was an incident like this happened. I was planning to buy a car, so exhausted hopping to and fro...I found 1, uncommitted, I went straight to that car show near that mall. So tired and the late afternoon was already dusky, was hungry too...I saw another one. From the start, I didn't like it becoz of the steering wheel...so small tho I knew it was medyo mahal than the ordinary. So the haggling, or the pilitan was made tho I wanted to go home and rest. I was hoodwinked to give an earnest money "daw". He was asking for P10k, told him I had no cash on hand. To my surprise, he offered a lift. There at home I gave the P5k, and I didn't settle for ten. When he left I changed my mind and I texted him that I'd rather not buy na lang. He was fuming mad...to the extent of hurling invectives via SMS. I chuckled, coz he texted, "pack you"...I told him to consult Webster...at his age? He was past 60 already huh...poor old Nick...he got my hard earned money...yeah, yeah I knew that was not refundable...but there's always an exception to the rule. It wasn't yours, so you have to give it back...walang kaeffort effort ngka P5k sya. Worst, nagpa gas pa ako ng P500, he wanted to make it P10K...when we were going to PNP for clearance...buti na lang I changed my mind, after consulting my cumpadre who occupies the highest post in PNP. He was asking for the OR, so he could help me and promised to go there to get back my money personally. I said no politely becoz I knew how busy his sked was.

Ngaun ubos na ung P5k, easy come-easy go! And what did he get?

Am I an easy mark? No!!! Too trusting (may) leads to nowhere....
Some people are....

A real worry wart...

I'm back blogging....you know sometimes I tend to become a bit fratchy...I'm sorrie, tao lang.
The worse is, I got easily hurt and affected...and a worry wart too, my bad!!! But the good thing is, I've got this resilient nature in me that prevent me from sulking too long. Life is beautiful and being on this earth...is a real real blessing.

Let's take things positively...
Want to know and apply that aesthetic Formal Theory?!.....why not?

A bit down in the mouth....

Actually, I have no reason to be in low spirit nowadays just because someone has got my ire becoz she was so "nervy", so opinionated, sharp-tongued, swanky, and all of those blahs...but never mind...she can be what she desires in her life. To each his own, my motto.

I should wear a smile instead and celebrate........!!!
I am grateful, God has given me what money can't buy...the happiness of being a mom. Yesterday my daughter graduated high school with flying colors...First Honorable mention, bagging 5 medals, it's great!!!

I wanted to write more....oh, but dear me!....I just received an emergency call from a friend who's mom is dying any minute now. I treasure my friends so much...and I want to be with her now in the doleful hours of her life...

Got no choice but to sign out................will go fast b4 it's too late.....hope not....

Piqued....

I think I've lost my enthusiasm to write at this very moment.....
I feel sick!!!
I'm in no mood...

On difficult times....

What are the different ways to save a faltering friendship?
I know only this...try to apologize if not to forgive,
And the friendship will be saved!!!

Poor Old Nick.....!

I am easily piqued when a person doesn't mince the word that comes out of his mouth. For me we should be wary of other people's feeling. If it gonna hurt them why can't we be more respectful choosing the appropriate words rather than hurting them or maligning them personally?...

It doesn't matter what you say...
It is how you say it...!

For those kind of person, you won't earn a bit of my respect!

Worn out...

I need to log off now.. coz I feel a little lightheaded and I think I need a lot of sleep...and good rest!

Ciao !!!

Early at 3:38am...

Was awakened and just couldn't go back to sleep...I went to the kitchen, made coffee, and logged on.

An aquaintance happened to drop by yesterday and whoah!!!...brought a-not-so-good-news for me. I don't know if it's true or what but I don't have any intention of knowing the truth. It's a trashed idea. You know what, I've gone so many trials and met a lot of people's behavior and all that. In my life...and so, I've had a considerable experience of deceit and dishonesty. So I've develop a good nose for it.This subject...I zeroed in (on) envy...is second only to self-pity as the most dangerous of all emotions. Some people seek your help, but they have no guts to tell how grateful they are but instead of praising you...they"ll fight you back as if it's their way to earn a living. They want all of you. Want to milk every bit of you. I have no choice whatsoever but to be in total control of myself. Not to lose grip and put aside the anger...

Sapience, complacency and contentment will lead you to total happiness!
If you need any advice along those lines....no charge!!!

Idler...

It's terrible...I couldn"t think of nothing anymore.....all I want to do is lie down on my bed and go hit the sack...I want some decent sleep now! Bye....bye....!

First bunch of roses....

Dear me...almost two hours sitting in front of this monitor, in this ungodly hour, pero wala akong maextract sa utak ko.While blogging earlier this morning, I make lambing sa super nega kong bunso...i asked him to give me something to eat. As usual I was expecting the usual negative nyang attitude. "No mama, wait lang mama, hindi pa po mama, don't know how to cook mama...mama mia!" But he surprised me. I was shocked! He brought me a snack...hehehe...the walang kamatayang chili pancit canton...hot choco...na sya pala ang uubos...bread and cold water. But I appreciated that much, knowing him. This boy...(ayaw na nyang matawag na boylet, may ligaw na kc, my heart is bleeding... : (( ) has a great passion for music. He plays the guitar, has done some gigs, and sumasakit na ulo ko sa gastos nya. He is prodding me to buy him a new guitar. What? A Fender? How much? Gosh...ang mahal naman...! Ok cge but I won't promise...we'll see.
The next day..."mama, ped ba akong mgpaderma?" But this boy really is so sweet...! And so mabait pa. First time he ever made me cry. When I learned that he's saving. Un pala only to buy a bouquet of flowers for his ligaw. I told him how it made me sad. He just said..."mama naman, ikaw pa rin ang no. 1 sa akin", he then hugged me and kissed me a lot. Now I know how it feels...and how time flies...

Foolish pride...

In this day and age, saying sorry is now a big deal...all of us are capable of doing wrong, of course...plenty of times we do. But why let our pride or insecurities keep us from saying so, to just forget and ignore the possibility of patching up our damaged friendship. You want to leave it ruined? If you care enough about the relationship, you'll do anything to have it repaired and restored...You may be right and innocent...yes... but how about the investments you have made for that friendship? You don't care enough to lose it in just a snap? You want to junk it too easily? And forget evrything you've shared? Of course not...

Now...you, step forward....and take the bull by the horns! Collect your guts to admit that you are wrong, even tho you're not. It's not weakness...I tell you... cause it takes strength and courage too, to say that you're sorry...

My lost equilibrium...

Today... although I still want to write, my energy level is so-so low. From the time I started blogging, I was attacked by my insomnia due to so much excitements and anticipation to write for effect. Days and nights without much sleep keeps my line of thoughts not so good enough and it really enervates me mentally. Here I am, tho I want to keep my drooping eyelids wide open...think I have to log off now... to recharge my energy level and hope to gain back my lost equilibrium.

Tete-a-tete last night...

Last night, I had a good and nice tete-a-tete with a new-found friend in the person of my new neighbor. A very young male entrepreneur...at his prime. We talked almost about ev'rything. I gave him my two-cents' worth and took it possitively. I admire his views...his undying love for his folks...his kookiness and eccentricities. Most of all I find him so straight...so polite...so accomodating...and so coy. His dreams are big...climbing his way to the top....and am sure he'll get there, in God's time, because I can see the sincerity and the goodness in his heart. Here's to you... Kampai...!!!

You owe me a dinner in a plush resto...coz I want to know you better, sir! Maybe in a cozy chophouse instead! With candle lights...and music. Haha! : ))
Eat your heart out Tin...joke!

Why one woman had an affair...

Talk is cheap, they say, but it is an essential ingredient in the best relationships. A woman who had been married many years and had recently begun an affair with another man....I said I assumed that most of the energy in their clandestine meetings was sexual. She said "No!...to tell you the truth, I've slept with him only two or three times, and it wasn't all that great then. The reason I'm so in love with him and want to be with him so badly is that, we can talk. We discuss things for hours on end. Gosh! It's great to talk to a man like that - to tell him everything that's in your heart, and have him do the same with you. Why don't my husband and I ever communicate like that?"

Mere flow of words between two people does not guarantee intimacy. Nevertheless, there can be no intimacy without conversation.

by Alan Loy McGinnis

A tacked note...

Dear Honey,
I hate you!
Love, Sylvia

Someone said...

"I don't know what got into me. I have always been such a prude in my life. Just so...all of a sudden here I am having an affair"

Don't be silly...

No other person will cure us of ennui...
They'll just add up!

I saw the sign...

Straying sexually is a sign of boredom!

On slip-ups...

You may take great strides forward,
But each time you slip...you haven't changed a bit!

Beware....!

Friendships sometimes may lead to adultery...

Mr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde?

Hi am here... : )) , now at least I'm enjoying my sleepless nights!

I want to ask, how can you tell if a man is fobbing? How can you sniff a Jekyll-and-Hyde type of personality? Better ask a doggy.

"My dogs are killing me!"

Still up blogging at 2:37am

Well I forgot to tell, we're planning to invade Batangas in May....
What a joie de vivre...!!!

What I worry is the muffler of my van that is yet to be fixed.
And let's chip in for the gasoline... : ))
Hallo! Do I hear mumblings...?!

Time to log off....exhausted....will sleep like a log!
Zzzzzzzzzzz......

On gifts...

I care enough to take the time finding a gift for you.....
So I care enough also, to hear you say.....
T H A N K Y O U !!!

Friends forever...

A get together was made possible earlier this day, even though I just got only 2 hours of sleep, because I was blogging 'til day-break. I bought a bucketful of fried chicken for our lunch. This was done to chirk up a friend who have had a recent open-heart surgery with bi-valve replacement and a valve repair according to her. We had fun sharing stories and boffoes. We're looking forward to have another one...

Good old friends meet again...we sang!!! How time flies...so swiftly!!!

With flats and sharps....

While extracting some good ideas from my drained head, for a possible post...I was invited for a dinner, a neighbor celebrating her 45th birthday. I obliged, sumptuous dinner was served...
We ate, and all viands were really deliciously cooked. I should have not eaten, coz I'm on my 3rd week strick-diet. When it was time to sing, oh my...i was so sad and ashamed to no end...I know I'm not a good singer, but I can carry a tune. But that night I couldn't even sing a single note for her. And besides, that microphone was singeing my hands. And so...I simply took the chance of excusing myself to use the john...ooopppsss, I'm sorry. I frantically scurried home with much enthusiasm to log on....

It's me again...!

I'm over head and ears in blogging...and it's taking up all my time and attention.

An hour to roost......

It's way late now...everybody's sound asleep. Like SKTCHY who stays in front of the computer and admit that he's a nerd, what would I call myself now...? Somebody help me...want to sleep now! But I can't just leave this stuff...

Ok...ok...will sleep now! Hello morning, and good morning!!!
Eyes heavy.........will sack out now.........
S*#t...(where's the bull?) , think I'm glued here!
Will have to wake up at 4am...the usual
And it's already 2:52am.....still got an hour to roost... : ((

Most truthful...

I don't get thrilled any more.

Who says...?

The book says, "Sexual relationship is a big part of a happy marriage...."
I said nae....because a person can be happy even without any sex at all.

Sage advice

Don't be a bedroom bore...evaluate your bedroom manners...

In jest....

When his performance hasn't come up to scratch,
Just tell him you weren't in the mood either....and you're dosing off....! : ))

A cry baby...

And I do also wonder why some women, talk like parrots....do nag endlessly,
and cry a lot in an ill hour....always need to be consoled.

In jest....

Men are weak in criticism...that's why they always look for virgins as their wives...! :))

If we try....

Trying to no end is a surefire way of learning...I'm happy I can edit now some of my mistakes in my blog. I wish I could edit some of my life's slip-ups...
Or I wish our life was like a slate. We can always wipe it clean...
But how if we are a repeat-offender....?

Inhibition...

Sometimes, I think it's much better if we keep some of our feelings and emotions to ourselves...
and just be tight-lipped...

Disappointment......

I really can't edit out some of my mistakes in my blog...
I have no formal knowledge...just trying to learn....
My apology to those who's reading...my bad!
CARAMBA......!!! : ((

On friendship....

This world we live in is all about love and hatred....either we love or hate. According to others, love is the purest human emotion. Period!

We love our God mainly because He is our Creator, our Great Divine Providence.
And the love we have from our parents, who brought us into this world we called life. They also give us special providence to keep us from harm, poverty, sickness and all. They do love us that much, and so in return we do love them also...and so dearly too...!
And the love between our siblings...relatives...and the likes.

But one thing I do wonder is the love that binds friendship. Person who we do not know first, from Adam...suddenly came into our life. Sharing our dreams, our plans in the future, our goals,
knowing our likes and dislikes, our favorite stuff, and blah, blah, blah. Giving us pat on the back, doesn't leave us when we're in doldrums...feeling heavy and downhearted. Giving the loudest shout and boost in our struggle. Though sometimes bullying us and annoying us to some extent. But in the end we still love them. For me it is inevitable...and I digress! I can't explain why I love a friend...to no end! Give me a hug, dawg... : ))

Podgy me...

Being on the heavier side (but not too much though) ...Wanting to be fit and healthy, I've tried a lot of dieting pills already.

I even enrolled myself to one of the most expensive and leading clinic that offers mentholated wraps that will help you trim your fats down...I paid the whole program completely with post-dated cheques, but after 5 or 6 visits I stopped. Imagine throwing away a cool seventy thousand plus with all my bulges still tagging with me at that time. : ))

But this I can say to those who want to slim down also...
The best, the easiest and the cheapest way is....lo and behold!

* PUSH YOURSELF AWAY FROM THE TABLE *

Gibe...

You're not supposed to cry...cause your tears won't dry
why don't you laugh...and I will clap!!!

My Chemical Romance

I don't love you anymore the way I have loved you yesterday...

Hear! hear!

I like MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, the not so new emo-band who is now dominating the mainstream....their compositions are quite good!

Heapy clouds...

There's an old adage that says...."Promises are made to be broken"

And for me it's quite very true to these days. If someone promised you something, that's for sure she's not gonna make it on the dot...worse is, she can't be found anywhere else easily. But still yet, there are those who really stick to what they say...and for those people, I have full respect for you guys!

And to those who frequently breaks a word willfully...this is all I can say....you're like heapy clouds that bring no rain at all.....

On motherhood...

I was browsing in the corner of the book store, when two women passed by. Laughing and talking about some matters I wasn't kinda interested to know. I was so engrossed with the newest book on how to lose weight via macrobiotics, derived from Zen Buddhism.
Out of earshot, I heard the woman says, "You go out of your shell my dear friend, look for a job that will give you a lucrative pay"
I glanced and went on browsing, then heard her again..."Being a mother is boring so all you have to do is look for a nanny and go leave the house and work. For me it's just a simple, and trivial pursuit!"
Whaaaaat? I said to my self. Motherhood for her is just a boring, trivial kind of pursuit?
Let me tell you this, being a mother is synonymous to happiness and fullfilment.
It is a great task...no lucrative salary, no insurance and no day off...
Only giggling, cuddling, embracing, laughing, cooing, changing nappies, teething, feeding...
I don't know....but for me being a mother gives me happiness.
Completely...

Tears of joy...

I broke Maki the news that I'm right now into blogging. I told everything blah, blah, blah. And has promised to send her a copy of the poem I made for her. I did instantly.

Well, I received an email from her immediately...
She cried....
Oh my...oh my...
My baby is now a lady...

Momma loves you so sooooooooooo much !!!

Sombreness

My mind's empty...i feel so low
I sit beside my window...
Feelin' all so blue
With lighted candles burning

I think of you...
Oh, my tears are welling
My eyes is smarting
Why did you leave?

You promised you'd stay beside me...
I miss those kisses
And your embraces
There'll gonna be no other

Except you...my mother

Cujo...

To my friend, who loves dogs...I wish you could read CUJO, one of Stephen King's best novel about how a big and friendly dog had turned into a rabid beast on the loose.

With eyes, red and rheumy....leaking some viscous substance....weeping gummy tears....with his tawny coat caked and matted... with mud......and blood....growling at you...fangs ready to devour you....Now, run my friend! Run for your life! : ))

Stephen King is really a master of modern horror...and he can surely scare the living daylights out of you! Read it...

Archaeologist at ten...

Hurrah for this girl named Abbey Krewson, a 10th-grader from Philadelphia who participated in a "dig for a day"...that made her an instantly famous when she unearthed an ancient oil lamp very recently. A very rare experience at an early age. In jest, I wish I could go there and find the elixir of life, hidden in the tomb of the famous Ramses the Great. Being an addict reader, I also enjoyed Anne Rice novels...one like THE MUMMY (or RAMSES THE DAMNED)...try it, it's a good read I tell you. I am now on some of James Patterson's novels. STEP ON A CRACK is a good read also...

Atama pa...!

Anata wa itsumo watashi no kokoro no nakani irudesho !

All doing great!

When my sister had been diagnosed with the big C, I couldn"t dry my tears...almost chokingly, I cried and cried and cried that day away...I never thought I'd feel that way...coz we weren't that close enough but we do have some moments together before she passed away.. I felt I misjudged her for being so picky, like she wore signature shirts and jeans...would prefer Guess, Giordanos, while I would rather raid a slopshop with just a meager amount for a simple hands-me-down. We're opposite in so many other ways. So we didn't jibe much.

While on her sickbed, I'd visit her and took charge ot taking care of her. Giving her a bath and brushing her teeth wasn't perfunctory but it was my way of showing her how much I care for her....

Today, I am fully happy to see her children all grew up the way she molded them to be....
All successful in their own field....all doing great!

I love you, mom!

Now that I'm over the hills...not young anymore but not too old...I blamed myself for not getting along so fine with my mother when she was still here on earth. I zeroed it mainly because of jealousy among my siblings...my fault. I only realized it when she's gone. So, I feel sorry whenever I hear someone who never fully appreciate their mothers. It wasn't too late while there's still a chance...

How sad that I am unable to speak these simple words in her presence....
But still, "Mom, I've loved you so so much....!"
Still do.....

To someone...

I thought all fathers would never leave....
nor abandon his wife...
lest, be far away from his kids!

It's like a circle...

The love of a mother to her child is incomparable...not even that of friendship, or of the commitment of two people in love...
Mother's love is unwavering and unconditional...
Keeps going around and around because there's no ending...only expanding...
Till our last breath here on earth...
I know because I am a mother too...

Itsumo...

I wish I could say this to someone, "I love you forever, for always and no matter what!"

It looked so real...

Have you ever been so afraid of an old man's deadee, hanging on the wall? Yes I did...when I was in the grades. A lot of us...avoided that corner near our principal's office...running during breaks with vowed heads and eyes half-closed, whenever we had the chance passing by that eerie corridor. Neither one of us wanted to look at that painting, coz it looked so real...as if he was looking at you which way you go....so spooky!

My chum

At long last...this couldn't be possible if not for my friend Angela who took the initiative teaching me how to get this blog done...for free...haha! Kudos, mi amiga! You're great! My urge to write has reached its crescendo level...and will welcome my insomia now with a smile...
I started choosing and picking the right key, with all the instructions given but my mind wasn't working so well. I was so preoccupied with a lot of things, my mind leaving me off and on...silly me I couldn't even answer a very simple question while filling up forms to create this blog...
Thanks again Ms Angela...

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.
....by Henry Ford